The Sweet Season

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Wife Lessons: Forgiveness & Being Grateful

09 December 2010

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Without fail, in the months following a wedding, the bride and groom get asked by anyone they speak with: "So, how is married life" to which the couple most likely go starry eyed and look at one another and reply "just absolutely the best thing ever!" -- and, yes, this is generally true.

Our wedding day

But here is a NEWSFLASH:
being married is hard, hard work.

It is one of the things I never really expected. I mean, you get to be around the person you love the most; your best friend ALL.THE.TIME and what could be better than that right? I figured things would only get easier. Well, while that was true in some ways, in others it is HARD--a complete choice every day to make our marriage better than it was the day before.

Lessons in patience? Check.
Lessons in humility? Double check.
Forgiveness and grace DAILY? Check & Check.

Here is where I have to praise my husband a little more than usual. I am thankful every day for his unique personality and his patience with my stubborn, slightly combative attitude. See, I have a problem where I don't watch the words that come out of my mouth in frustration or anger. Words to me don't mean a whole lot...I can say something without meaning it, or someone can say something awful to me and I can move on and forgive them 5 minutes later. Words to me just don't mean much, I believe that actions truly speak the truth.

However, my husband is not this way. Not even a little bit! My words can hurt him, but being the level-headed patient man he is, he usually never escalates any argument we have. Every day I learn something else about myself; being with this wonderful man forces me, encourages me, urges me to be better. I learn patience, and forgiveness how to put someone else's feelings before my own.

so far I've learned...

Being married means giving you the very last bagel in the pantry
Being married means choosing battles...& letting you play COD "just 5 more minutes"
Being married means trusting you
Being married means trusting God
Being married means guarding your heart before my own
Being married means learning what the forgiveness of Jesus looks like
Being married means supporting your leadership
Being married means giving you the extra 5 inches of space in the bed
Being married means embracing your 'flaws'
Being married means picking up your socks....from all over the place
Being married means choosing to love you every day
Being married means building you up so you can see how amazing
you are even when you don't feel like you are very amazing
Being married means protecting our marriage at all cost


being married means adapting, evolving, growing and consciously choosing to do that EVERY.SINGLE.DAY.

The most amazing man I have ever met.

So, yes, marriage is THE BEST adventure I have been on; one that presents challenges and obstacles and more joy and contentment that I have ever known. I can only say that I am blessed and beyond lucky to be on this journey with such a patient, wise, Godly man who always gives me 150% of himself and daily chooses to love me.

Thank you Jonathan, you have and always will be my sunshine and my very FAVORITE.

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  1. As I am running around our apartment picking up socks and underwear from the most random places...This post made me laugh. Being married for 6 months now I feel like I need to say a big "amen" to this post! Thanks Ashley! Hope all is well, we pray for our other newlywed friends all the time (you guys included!)
    -Lauren Romero

  2. Ah thanks Lauren! Good to hear from you as well :) I hope you and Chris are awesome and have a lovely first Christmas together!

  3. Amen. I wish more couples would be honest about that hard fact that marriage, with all its triumphs, is a CHALLENGE. The husband and I had an incredibly rough start to our marriage, and had to over come a monument of obstacles.. (mainly due to my immaturity and quick lash of the tongue) is the greatest feeling to overcome any feat...but to overcome the hardships of marriage is by far the most rewarding.

    and what is it with men and sock EVERYWHERE??? AND pocket change...i mean every single time i go to fold his pants and over flow of change falls to the floor. I don't get it.

  4. Well spoken :) Being married for over 5 years, the choice is even more evident. Some times we have to look past the fighting and choose to fight for the heart of our love. God does that daily and pursues and fights for us. I have an amazing man as well and I'm a better women, wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend because of this man. I am so proud and excited that you have embraced your husband, willing to grow and pursue at all cost. Marriage is the most amazing journey and it brings more joy when you tackle parenting! haha! Love you girl!! Have fun as newlyweds!

  5. Hello, I am new around here, I've been reading your blog this past few days, and I always leave feeling blessed. This post is so true, I love being married, and it is so good when I can see someone sharing the truth about marriage. It is the best challenge ever, and the hardest one too.

  6. Ok I LOVE this post, because I agree 110%. Being married is HARD. I think that is why there are so many divorces, because it is SO much easier than sticking it through with one person. Yes yes yes, marriage is HARD. But? so worth it in the end!!

  7. Amen! from a 27+ year veteran...hard, but so, so worth the effort..just like parenting...

  8. Oh I love this post :) Is it weird that it makes me look forward to being married even more and trusting in God even more? Only 9 months to go! xxx

  9. I know you wrote this a long time ago, but this was just what I needed to read today! Thank you for writing this!

  10. what a beautiful post this is Ashley!


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