Sunday Series: Your Spiritual Health, Part 5

We are continuing on with the Sunday Series, again these books are called The Homebuilder Couples Series (click to order).  They are meant to be led devotional style together or in a group of couples.  My husband and I choose to do them together once a week.  It helps us understand each other and improve our communication.  Marriage is something that should always be changing and growing stronger.  This takes actual work.  It doesn't just magically happen.  Couples have to decide that complacency isn't okay and strive to become everything God intended for them.  This is just one way to start and continue that process in your own relationship or marriage.    

Today we are going to discuss:  

Freedom To Fail

so grab some coffee, grab your bible, and grab your honey to participate with you!


warm-up: Big Dreams
discuss this question between yourselves or your group.  Yes, this is an icebreaker!  Go with it!

• What is one of the riskiest things you have ever tried?
• If you knew you couldn't fail and money wasn't an issue, what is one dream you would pursue?
• What failure in your life can you look back at an appreciate in some way?

Blueprint

Failure is inevitable in life. No one does it right every time.  Our spouses can give us perspective and help us confront a challenge or deal with painful times--wether we have lost our keys or our jobs.  Failure can be divided into two categories:

• failure that is sin (such as lying, lust and greed)
• failure that is not sing (such as an honest mistakes, misunderstandings, and forgetting something).

While all sing is failure, not all failure is sin.  During this session we will look at the impact if sin and at some steps you can take to help each other deal with failure. The primary question is, how do you respond when your spouse faces failure?

The Impact of Failure

1. As a culture, we have developed success syndrome that says only people who are healthy, wealthy, and powerful have worth and value.  What do the following scriptures say about this philosophy? 

• 1 Samuel 16:7
• Matthew 6:33

Six Steps to Giving Your Spouse The Freedom To Fail 

During the remainder of this session, we will look at the six steps that you and your spouse can take to give each other freedom to risk failure and the strength to recover from it. 

Step One: Offer forgiveness and restoration.

Read Luke 15:11-32.

2. From the story of the prodigal son, what can we tell about

• the son's feelings of worth in the midst of his failure?
• the father's response to his son's humility and desire for restoration?

3. What does this parable illustrate about God's love and acceptance of you?  What is the lesson here for you on responding when your spouse fails?

Step Two: Assure your spouse of your commitment, loyalty, and love regardless of performance.

Read 1 John 4:18.

4. How can the assurance of your spouse's love help you when you are going through a difficult time? 

Step Three: Remind your spouse: "Your with is not in what you do but who you are".

Read Ephesians 1:13-14.

5. How can a person fail without being a failure?  When your spouse fails, how can you send the clear message that he or she is not a failure?

Step Four: Comfort your spouse with the truth that God is in control.

Read Romans 8:28.

6. Share an incident in which God brought good out of one of your failures. 

Step Five: Join with your spouse in giving thanks in all things.

Read Thessalonians 5:18.

7. Why should we thank God even amid our failures?

Step Six: Encourage your spouse not to lose heart when failure occurs.

Read Corinthians 4:16-18.

8. How can your spouse best encourage you during your difficult times? 

Answer these questions on  your own.

1. What is failure you have experienced during your marriage?

2.  What effect has this had on your marriage? 

3. Which of the six steps does your spouse do best?  Give an example.

4. Which of the steps do you need to use more to help your spouse?

5. In your life right now, how willing are you to take risks, despite the fear of failure?  Evaluate your current risk factor on a scale of 1 (no willingness to risk) to 10 (freely willing to risk).  What ranking do you give yourself and why?

6. Where do you fear failure? Choose the top two:

• at work
• as a husband or wife
• as a parent
• in managing finances
• in managing the household
• in a new venture
• as a friend
• in your emotions
• as a christian
• other:__________

7.  Review the six steps, make a note of the ones that you need the most from your spouse:  Forgiveness and Restoration, Assurance of commitment, loyalty and love regardless, Reminders  that "my worth is not in what I do but who I am", Being comforted with the truth that God is in control, Joining your spouse in giving thanks in all things, Encouragement from your spouse not to lose heart.   For each step you chose, write out a practical way your spouse could meet this need for you. 

okay, now you two can come back together to answer the final questions together!

1. Share the following with each other:

• What do you most remember wanting to do or be when you grew up?
• As you grew up, what things either encourages or discouraged you from achieving your dreams?
• What is one dream you have now---now matter how far fetched---that you would like to try someday?

2. Discuss the questions you answered on your own.

3. How can you make your marriage a safe place in which each of you can risk failure?

4. Together read 1 Peter 4:8. What perspective does this verse give you on your spouse's failures?

5. Pray together.  Thank God for giving you the freedom to risk failure.  Thank God that, by the power of the Holy Spirit, you and your spouse can express the same freedom to each other.  Thank God for your spouse. 

Mark your calendars for next sunday when we continue the series with Part 6! 

Read Part 1, Here. 

Read Part 2, Here.

Read Part 3, Here.

Read Part 4, Here. 

Over & Out,

A

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