SLOW COOKER BABY BACK RIBS & A MURDERER

I guess, as I endeavor to be pretty  honest here, that it's time for a confession: I've been scared silly living in our new home. Not like in a silly, ha-ha kind of way, but kind of in a legitimately terrified way.  Let me start at the beginning. 

 Living in a new place always takes a little getting used to, and moving over the past two years I have had to get used to my share of new places.  When we moved into this house, being scared didn't even cross my mind until the first night Jonathan was gone and I was home alone. This was maybe the third night we had been in the house and it was dark and I started to get that creeped out feeling while being alone in our upstairs master bedroom.  I decided to go down and make myself a cup of tea while waiting for him and to shake off the scared feeling. As I was making my way down the stairs I noticed through our huge foyer window that a car was parked facing our house with its lights on.  I had our upstairs lights on, so I knew that whoever it was could see every single move I was making.  I hit the lights off and went into the guest room to peek through the blinds. They sat there for over 15 minutes and that was all it took, I was officially freaked out thinking someone was staking out our home.  

Still, I shook it off and headed downstairs to make my cup of tea. When I got the kitchen, I heard something upstairs and Bella started to growl. I headed back up to see what it was and as I was starting to enter our bedroom I saw that the floor fan we had brought was turned ON. Bella ran ahead in the room and turned to face the bathroom (which I could not see into) and started barking her HEAD off like she does when she sees someone she doesn't know. As fast as I could I backed out of the room, into the hallway and locked myself in the guest bathroom with Bella.  I called my husband (thank goodness I had my phone) and as I was telling him about the car and the fan being on, something else happened.... I HEARD THE FAN TURN OFF.  Are you with me here? I heard the fan click OFF!

 And with that, I entered full on ugly cry mode begging Jonathan to hurry up and get there because I was about to be offed by an ax murderer.  Eventually he calmed me down and convinced me to open the door and investigate. I didn't find anything but was still freaked out so I went downstairs and grabbed the mace that is hanging on our key rack. I had never used it and the package said to test it out so I turned it to "firing" mode and sprayed it into the sink. It worked, I was satisfied and I started to rinse the sink out with the fumes drafted up and hit me in the face. Immediately my eyes were burning and watering and I couldn't see---at the same time I heard a noise in the basement.  I grabbed a kitchen knife and blindly DASHED up the stairs to the bedroom and locked myself in until Jonathan arrived home. Of course, once he got there, he never found ANYTHING and I am sure it was all a figment of my imagination. 

Fast forward to last night. 

I was cozied up and tuned into the bachelor finale.  Jonathan had just left for his soccer game and we had just finished dinner. My stomach was bumpin' out so, being home alone, I decided to just take my pants off (don't judge me). Not long after, I started to hear these seriously loud bangs upstairs.  (I guess I should also tell you that our attic is open from the garage entrance over to our master bedroom closet entrance. As far as I knew our garage door lock was broken, so in my mind, I was thinking someone could come in through the garage, enter the attic, walk across and come into our bedroom.  Also, our house has sat empty for a year and every time we came to walk through there would be a pillow moved, or a piece of trash or something weird. I always said to Jonathan that I wondered if the owners of the home had a friend living there sometimes.)   SO, all of this is in the back of mind when I hear what sounds like footsteps above me.  And then the floor creaks the same way it does when someone is standing in the bathroom. And THEN a huge bang, like someone dropped a 5 pound weight. Bella starts to growl, but not just any growl...this low, mean growl. I called my dad, heard the sounds all over again with him on the phone.

He gets freaked out and starts YELLING at me to "GET OUT OF THE HOUSE! GET OUT OF THE HOUSE NOW!" So I jump up, hear more bangs and start running, realize I don't have any pants on so I am trying to get my pants on and explain this on the phone but my dad is still yelling to "GET OUT NOW! NOW! GET IN YOUR CAR AND LEAVE!" Finally, my pants are on, I grab Bella and the mace and open the garage door to find that Jonathan has taken my Escape! His Mustang is in the garage, but its a stick and I cannot drive it! I decide to jump in his car and lock it anyway.  Once I am in I am telling my dad where I am and why and he's saying that I should get out and go into the yard so I try to use the garage door opener in Jonathans car but the battery is dead and I am too scared to get out and go near the house door to push the button open. Bella starts whining and my phone is on 10% battery and I am on the verge of tears. My dad is telling me to call the police, but I don't want to be that crazy person who calls the police because they are hearing the wind or something. So I call my mother in law who lives about 10 minutes away and she says she is coming over.  She gets there, and of course, no other noises happen. And I had been gripping the mace can so hard that some of the liquid had gotten on my fingers and unknowingly I rubbed my eyes and they started burning and watering again. Seriously, I'm a mess. 

To make an already long story a little shorter: Jonathan finally arrived home and investigated the attic.  He heard the noises I was hearing too and agreed that YES, he would be freaked out too if he was alone and heard them. It literally sounds like someone is walking upstairs and you can follow the sounds along the ceiling. As I am typing this I have heard them a few times but at least now I know that nothing is up there and we are locked up pretty well.

So  maybe I am just a big baby, but I guess I would rather be silly than to be killed by a deranged suburban murderer, you know? I truly hope this is the last "incident". Maybe I should just not be home alone at night for a while! So, that is my confession. 

And now, as your reward for making it through my ridiculous story, I have an awesome slow cooker baby bak rib recipe for you:

Slow Cooker Baby Back Ribs
1 package baby back ribs (I had to cut mine in half to fit into my crockpot)
1 cup kraft honey bbq sauce
1 cup bbq sauce of choice (I used sweet onion hickory)
1/4 cup honey
1/4 cup Dale's Steak Seasoning
2 tbsp garlic powder
salt and pepper
Dash of soy sauce
optional: 2 tbsp chili powder for a kick
1 sweet onion, sliced in rings.

Directions:  Mix dry ingredients and rub down baby back ribs on both sides. Slice onion in rings and layer on bottom of crock pot.  Lay ribs on top of onions in the pot.  Mix sauces and all wet ingredients, baste ribs and pour in excess.  If you need more sauce, use more. You can't really use too much!  Set the crockpot on low heat and let cook for 7 hours. Meat will be fall of the bone tender when removed. Once they are remove and serve on plates, basting with warmed BBQ sauce! So good, so easy and SO  much cheaper than buying ribs at a restaurant!

Tweet